Discover how many messages are considered harassment, the legal implications, and what to do if you’re facing unwanted contact.
Ever find yourself staring at your phone in wonder, daunted by a ton of messages from someone, and go, “Is this normal, or is this harassment?” If you’re here, chances are you’re trying to understand where the line falls between persistence and harassment.
Honestly? You aren’t alone. A lot of people deal with that question every day. Now, let’s get into the weeds and I’ll sprinkle in some personal anecdotes and real-world examples to make it relatable.
Table of Contents
What is Harassment? The Basics
First of all, we need to understand what harassment actually is. Generally speaking, harassment means some unwanted behavior that is intended to cause distress or even fear. In the context of messages, it’s not just a question of numbers but one of content, context, and frequency: a single threatening message may well constitute harassment, while a dozen friendly check-ins from a concerned friend likely wouldn’t.
So, does that constitute harassment if there is a person who just won’t stop texting you despite your plea? Short answer: Yes.
If someone does not respect your wish to leave you alone and continues to message you, then that is harassment. But it is equally important to address the situation effectively as it is to identify it.
Is There a Magic Number?
The thing is, there is no magic cutoff for the number of messages that constitute harassment across the board. The laws and the guidelines vary depending on where in the world, but most basically focus on a pattern rather than the number. Example:
When it comes to the number of messages that constitute harassment, everything is context. If someone is just continuously texting you, his behavior may be harassment, no matter the exact number, if their behavior disregards your boundaries.
How to React to Harassment
When it comes to dealing with a person who wouldn’t stop texting you, the way you respond or not makes all the difference.
And here is a very counterintuitive but more effective solution: nothing whatsoever. Do not tell them to stop harassing you. Do not ask them again to stop. Do not block them. Say nothing.
Why? Because all stalkers or people who continue in this manner seek one thing: an emotional response. Whether that’s anger, frustration, or even fear, it is a means to make a person rise and take some sort of action. Many times, blocking them or showing that one is upset might seem the proper course of action, but it is starting a snowball down the hill and just feeds the behavior.
Instead, try this:
This too can be a very effective strategy. When it goes against intuition to remain silent, refusing to engage has often been able to cease the behavior far more effectively than does confrontation.
Setting Digital Boundaries: My Personal Experience
Okay, a little confession: I’ve been on both sides of this equation. Years ago, I went through a tough breakup. I’ll admit, I sent a few too many texts in an attempt to “fix things”-texts that, in hindsight, probably weren’t appreciated. At the time, I thought I was being earnest and persistent. Now? I realized I was disregarding boundaries.
On the other extreme, I have also been at the receiving end of unsolicited messages. A former colleague bombarded me with tens of texts, from “just checking in” to guilt-tripping me, as if I was being mean, yet I had requested space politely. Tried blocking them well, they found other ways to get in touch with me. Finally, followed the “don’t feed the troll” strategy. It took some patience, but it worked.
Red Flags to Look Out For
Lest one doubt, here are a few red flags that may mean a series of messages has crossed the line:
Any of those sound familiar, and it’s probably harassment.
FAQs
1. How many messages are considered harassment?
There isn’t a quota, but repetitive messaging can become a form of harassment when messages become hostile, threatening, or unsolicited, especially when you have asked them to stop sending them afterwards. Repeated messages, messages at inopportune times, or messages with a manipulative purpose can also act as a sign of harassment.
2. What can I do when a person will not cease messaging me even when I have specifically instructed them to stop?
If someone continues sending messages even when specifically instructed to stop, save messages and even go to the extreme of blocking them. In case behavior worsens and turns violent, report it to concerned platform or authorities, respectively, in proportion to its severity.
3. Can messages of emotional manipulation be considered a form of harassment?
Yes, emotional manipulation, such as guilt, shame, and coercion through threatened consequences, can be considered a kind of harassment, especially when it creates distress, and when the aggressor disregards your boundaries.
4. When will I have to seek out authorities to resolve harassment?
You should involve a relevant authority in case your harassment constitutes a threat to your welfare, stalking, or any activity that constitutes a break in laws. Document all contacts and communications for future use in case of a dispute.
